Category: life

Losing My Cool Dot Cool

Published June 27, 2017 by Christina

I developed this really awesome editorial calendar for myself and I managed to stick to it for two whole weeks. Then yesterday I had a post about DIY foaming hand soap almost ready to go and life just sort of got in the way, as it so often does with me. I forgave myself as my head hit the pillow at 11:24 PM and swore I’d get up in the morning and finish it up and hit publish.

But my mornings this week have been unusual, and I can only partially blame my toddler The electrician, county inspector, and HVAC people have been so prompt (I’m talking 7:30 when they say 8), but it’s definitely made the mornings feel less than normal. We’re still pretty much in the thick of the moving in process. Stuff isn’t where it’s supposed to be. It’s hard to develop routines or get back to business as usual when nothing my house doesn’t feel like my home yet.

The chocolate stash hasn’t made its way to the pantry, and that led Rory to discover a See’s Easter chocolate bunny and bring it to bed to share with us at 7 AM. Up until a few days ago I couldn’t find measuring cups or spoons, which is why I’ve avoided cooking and we’ve eaten mostly sandwiches and breakfast. The curtains that did get hung up are two inches too long so I can’t run the Roomba without them getting chewed up, hence my very dusty floor.

Gone are the days where I could plop Rory in the pack n play for a bit with toys. He’s officially learned how to climb out of the damn thing. So I’ve been relying on Sesame Street and the iPad to entertain him and keep him safely distracted. I always feel like I’m on a slippery slope with media though, because when he gets too much of it he’s crabby, distracted, and can’t seem to stay engaged with anything. And when Sesame Street is on a loop I can’t help but hear the words to all those catchy songs and internalize them. I find myself inwardly singing What Makes U Useful or Are you cool dot cool? And that’s when I realize I AM LOSING MY COOL DOT COOL.

Stay at home parenting is a lonely pursuit. You don’t have coworkers you can bitch to about the (little) people you’re serving. The pay is shit. Literally. It’s not always easy to find or build community. Often, you don’t know if you’re talking to someone who can (or wants to) relate about being in the trenches until you’ve already spilled your guts and they look at you like you’re ungrateful for the privilege of being a stay at home parent or they step up with support and match your war story with one of their own.

I don’t regret the choice I made to move 350 miles, or my choice to leave my job, or my choice to have a family in my thirties. But I do regret that I haven’t found my niche yet, my squad (ugh), ~~my tribe~~ (feels like appropriation, sorry), my friend circle that I can call or text whenever I need a moment to blow off steam. Sometimes I just need to vent. The DIY soap piece can wait.

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Another Waiting Game

Published March 10, 2017 by Christina

I don’t know how well I’ve done with my goal of being present in the daily monotony of living. This week hasn’t been the sort of regular monotony I deal with, where the week stretches on and yet nothing seems to happen. Rather than being preoccupied with productivity and relaxation, I have been consumed with our house hunt. There’s nothing like a problem to distract you from monotony, eh?

It feels like a waiting game. Will today be the day we find our house? Will they accept our offer? Have I made a huge mistake? Will this really make me happy? I don’t know the answer to any of these questions, I just have to wait and see. House hunting is yet another venture into the unknown and a constant reminder that I am not in control. I am intimately acquainted with both concepts, and yet I find myself stressed out and on the verge of tears.

I have checked my Apple watch every two seconds today. The phantom sensation of an alert is distressing, and yet I dare not let it go unchecked. What if there’s an update? What if there’s news? I’ll be happy or I’ll be sad, but either way, I’ll still have more waiting to do. Everything is a waiting game. Sign this, notarize that, fill this one out, check this box, initial here, make a copy of this, file it all away. And wait.

How do you find peace in a storm of anxiety? No, really, I’m asking. I’m all ears. I can tell you what I’m doing, but I can also tell you it’s not working. I wake up and I hug my little guy. We have breakfast. He plays and I read the news. Horrifying. We go for walks. I shower. He naps. We have lunch. He plays and I watch him and help him up when he takes a tumble. We go for another walk. He naps. I sit here and try to write or read or create. I fail. We have dinner. Dad gives Rory a bath and I do the dishes. Then it’s bedtime for the baby. Then we sit with two iPads and search for our home. “Is it this one?” No. “What about this one?” Nope, that one’s already sold. “How about this one?” Maybe. Could be. We make a call. We wait. We see houses. We wait.

In thirty minutes or less we’ll know if we found our house. Or we will have to just keep waiting.

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Lessons Learned from Packing and Moving

Published February 3, 2017 by Christina

I’ve arrived! In Northern California, that is. My husband and I sold our condo and we are living temporarily with my parents. Escrow was very iffy for a while there, so ultimately it was a great decision that we didn’t sign a lease or try to put in an offer on a house. Packing and moving was an eye opening experience, so I thought I’d share what I learned before those lessons are too far in my rear view mirror.

ten tips for packing and moving

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Cold Tea and a recipe for Mini Banana Nut Muffins

Published December 14, 2016 by Christina

I’m in the season of life where I have the best intentions but things very rarely go to plan. I got home from an appointment this morning feeling like a total queen. I got up earlier than my husband and my kid, and showered! I had time to do my makeup and eat breakfast before heading out the door. On time! I did some much needed self-care (dermatology appointment I’d been putting off for ages), and ran two quick errands. I arrive home ten minutes before my promised time.

Rory seemed hungry and a little whiny, so I told him to hop in the high chair for a snack. Homemade banana walnut mini muffins. You heard me, I baked them myself. From scratch. I even used half whole wheat flour (fine, it was one-third). I filled up Rory’s water cup half way so he could practice sipping from it like a big boy, strapped on his bib with the plastic catch-all thingamabob, and let him independently snack away. I had pep in my step, everything was great at ten o’clock.

I asked Nick if he wanted a cup of tea. I thought I had enough time to make us some and I’d drink it leisurely while my kid snacked on a wholesome treat. I filled up the electric kettle and went to back to the table to stare fondly at my kiddo. When I got to the table it was just in time to see him stuff the entire mini muffin into his mouth. He said, “Mama,” and gesticulated wildly. We are still working on the signs for “more” and “all done.” I’m pretty sure he was demanding more muffin. So much for getting to sit and drink my tea and have a muffin with him.

I got up and poured water over the bags to steep and grabbed the bowl of grapes from the fridge and started doling them out two at a time in the hopes of getting the hungry little hippo before me to slow down. No such luck. He signed “more” repeatedly until he had stashes of grapes in the hollows of his cheeks. I fixed the tea and brought a mug to Nick who was working at his desk just a foot away from the snacking monster. I went to grab mine next, but in the moment I had my back turned Rory poured the contents of his water cup on his tray and was splashing away like it was bath time.

I’ve personally deforested an entire rain forest with my paper towel usage yesterday during The Great Cat Vomit Explosion, so I selected a kitchen towel and sopped up the mess. I thought Rory was done so I took off his bib, only to have him flail about and threaten to topple the high chair. More, he signed. So I gave him ten more grapes. I signed, all done, to which he replied, “Mama,” and threw up his hands.

I took the sticky little toddler to get dressed at 10:25, where a war ensued over his comb (he wouldn’t let it go to undress or get dressed), his toothbrush (he thinks he know how to brush his teeth, but the mess between them says otherwise), and his itchy eczema (he wants to scratch until he bleeds and I want to put topical ointment on it). Finally, I wrestled him down for a nap.

At 10:45 I found my tea right where I had left it. It was lukewarm. I updated my Instagram with a post I wrote over the weekend. I cleared off a spot to work at my desk. I typed as quickly as the story would come out. It’s 11:10 now and my tea is cold and I still have not eaten my muffin.

Mini Banana Nut Muffins

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Prep time

10 mins

Cook time

10 mins

Total time

20 mins

Mini banana walnut muffins with a crunchy nut top.

Author: Christina at Invented Charm

Recipe type: Snack

Serves: 30

Ingredients

3 medium ripe bananas, mashed
¾ cup granulated sugar
¼ cup milk
2 TBSP melted butter
2 TBSP canola oil
1 egg
1 cup unbleached flour
½ cup whole wheat flour
2 tsp baking powder
½ tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla
½ cup chopped walnuts (or walnut pieces for baking) plus more for topping
turbinado sugar, for topping

Instructions

Heat oven to 425ºF. Line 24 mini-size muffin cups with a muffin liner. Spray the liners with cooking spray or brush on oil with a pastry or silicone baking brush.
In large bowl, mix bananas, sugar, milk, butter, oil and egg with a spatula or wooden spoon. Gently mix in flour, baking powder, salt and vanilla just until flour is moistened. Fold nuts into batter. Do not over mix.
Divide batter evenly among 24 muffin cups. I used about a cookie scoop of batter for each. Top with additional nuts and raw sugar.
Bake 5 minutes at 425ºF then reduce heat to 375ºF for an additional 5 minutes. Check for doneness with a toothpick. Changing the temperature mid-way helped keep the dome shape to these muffins.
Let cool in the pan for a minute or two and then transfer to a wire baking rack.
I had enough batter left over for four regular sized muffins, but you could probably get about six to eight more mini muffins from this recipe.

Notes

Adapted from Butter With a Side of Bread.

This recipe was adapted from Butter with a Side of Bread.

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Funny Things

Published December 10, 2016 by Christina

mom-time

I don’t fancy myself a comedian, but I know that sometimes I can elicit a laugh, a chuckle, a torrent of laughter. On Friday I met up with a dear old friend for lunch, an early birthday celebration of sorts. It was nice to just chat and watch Dessi crack up at my quips that fall flat most days on my toddler’s ears.

We’re both moms now, she further ahead than I, but both of us are very much still stumbling through it. We texted about a week ahead to set up the date after so many other failed plans. I had to ask my friend Teri to babysit Rory. (My mother in-law, who has been gracious enough to spend time with my kid for a couple of hours a week has been unable to for a while now due to a broken leg.) It’s possible that getting a babysitter for a mere hour long lunch date is lost on many people—I can hear you asking, “Why not just take your kid with you?” Because, I wanted to actually enjoy and eat my lunch, not spend the whole time cutting up Rory’s food only so he can lob it at me or the floor when he decides five minutes after the meal arrives that he’s done eating.

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A Status Change

Published November 17, 2016 by Christina

Hi friends,

I got an email today from my friend Megan asking me what’s up with the sale of my home. She’d gotten one of those cool little updates from a real estate app alerting her that there’d been a status change on our place. So, I guess it might be helpful for me to let you know what’s going on here in my world.

We are in escrow! Finally. After being on the market for a little over two months, we got an offer. I think the funniest thing is that we got an offer from the very first person who saw our house, and the very last. On the very first day we hit the market, we got an offer. While the offer ended up not working out, it put us on a great path knowing that there was interest in our home. Many potential buyers came multiple times to see the house, and we had open houses every weekend but one.

It was an incredibly busy time for us—I would clean for every showing and stage our home every time, and it took about two hours from start to finish. I sometimes questioned why I was so adamant about how my place looked—my mother in-law (a real estate agent) would tell me that most of the homes on the market do little to look presentable. But I’d look around at Rory’s toys on the floor, the pack n play and stroller that take up a ton of space, my ottoman covered in cat hair, and my dirty dishes and knew that I could not let my house be seen in this state. I typically pick up the house whenever I have friends over, so why would I invite strangers into my home without making it clean first?

After a little over 60 days on the market, interest seemed to wane, but lo and behold the very last person who requested a showing ended up making us a solid offer. YAY! Fingers crossed that all goes well and we close escrow as expected on January 11. We have a bunch of hurdles to get through, but so far we are on track.

What does this mean for the blog? Well, you may have noticed that I haven’t posted in over two weeks. A lot is going on right now, and I had to redirect my energy elsewhere, temporarily. I hope I’m back for good now and will try to resume posting weekly. I may need to take a break again during the actual move, but I’ll keep you updated as that firms up.

Upcoming blog posts: I want to continue with my house tour before we leave this place! I hope to share my thoughts later this week on “living intentionally.” I want to do some gift guides for the holidays. I’d like to share my plans for a minimal Christmas. I want to do a roundup of my favorite podcasts. I’d love to finish up all the drafts of posts I’ve got sitting in my inbox.

There’s so much to come from Invented Charm. Drop me a line if you have an idea for a post you’d like to see me cover. Thanks so much for your love and support!

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How to Manage Stress When You Feel Like You Don’t Have Any Free Time

Published September 9, 2016 by Christina

I want to share that as of this week, my home is officially on the market! It’s been quite a challenge to get everything ready, but I’ve learned so much and I can’t wait to share more about the process. In the meantime, I’d like to offer some ideas on how to manage stress when you feel like you don’t have any free time, a topic super relevant to yours truly.

four-things-to-manage-stress
We all are busy people juggling work, social, family, home, and financial commitments, but there are times in our life when already full schedules may explode with even more obligations. When I’ve looked for support via the internet or in casual conversation, I’m often met with unhelpful advice about the importance of creating routines. People tout their morning routines, bedtime routines, work out routines, and money management routines as some sort of miracle cure for whatever ails you—but the last thing I want to do when I’m pressed for time is create another routine or try to improve upon one that has already been a struggle to maintain.

During times of stress I advocate for simplifying life as much as possible. Cut back to the bare bones so that you have more time to dedicate toward whatever is in front of you. Maybe you’re transitioning in your career and you’re overwhelmed because you have a lot to learn in a short period of time, or perhaps you’re approaching a significant date (graduation, surgery, wedding, travel, etc.) and it’s keeping you up at night with worry, or there’s a big life change (birth, adoption, moving, etc.) on the horizon causing feelings of anxiety. Consider what you can give up and let go of to give you peace of mind.

Four Things to Do to Manage Stress When You Feel Like You Don’t Have Any Free Time

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Kindness and Friendship

Published September 2, 2016 by Christina

even the smallest gestures of kindness can bring us back from the darkest places

I have been working my bum off to get our condo listed, and it finally will be next week! Phew. I couldn’t have done it without the amazing support and encouragement from my family and friends.

Stress, anxiety, and fear have a way of giving us tunnel vision, but even the smallest gestures of kindness can bring us back from the darkest places. I have received beautiful comments, a thoughtful card, and an amazing care package from various friends. They all touched me, lifted me up, and brought me to tears (that’s what happens when you’re running on caffeine and sheer force of will). My parents came through for me in a big way when I got to my breaking point. We couldn’t have gotten our place ready without them. I’ve even become better about asking for help from my in-laws.

I sent out a bat signal and so many people answered it. And why did so many people answer it with their time, help, support, meals, and cups of coffee? I’d like to think they’re just returning the love I put out there in the world. Thank you, you lovely humans.

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Take Back Time for Yourself

Published August 18, 2016 by Christina

it's okay to say no until you're ready to say i can't wait

Last week I shared that I’ve been really struggling with our impending move, and it felt really good to unload. Unfortunately, my body decided to completely shut down in response to the stress. I got a nasty cold/sinus thing, and it pretty much knocked me on my ass since last Thursday. I haven’t left the house other than for essential appointments, errands, and coffee runs. I felt like a zombie.

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Sometimes You Have to Pay Yourself in Lattes

Published August 9, 2016 by Christina

sometimes you have to pay yourself in lattes (1)

It’s been a challenging couple of weeks in my casa. I think I’ve mentioned it before, but a move has been in the works for a while now.

We’ve had some setbacks, and it’s been a real bummer. I think people mistake an unprompted move as a statement against the community or city in which you live. But my town is undeniably beautiful, with a lot of remarkable perks. If money were no object, we’d probably stay, but we live in the real world where things like the cost of housing, food, child care, and education are outpacing our earnings. We have a lot more family and friends in Northern California, the cost of living is more affordable, and my partner has the opportunity to work remotely. It makes perfect sense that we would sell our one bedroom condo and move, but that doesn’t mean that the process is easy or without considerable pain.

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