I always thought the phrase “date night” was really corny. Before I had a baby. Last week my husband and I had our first date night since April. I wore a dress. I bought new shoes, finally. We ate at one of our favorite Thai places (yes, we had a BOGO coupon, but whatever) and we actually got to eat our food without having to take care of a child. I didn’t have to make dinner, and no one had to clear the table and wipe up the floor. After dinner we went to see Star Trek. And last night we had another date night—this time it was Ghostbusters and food stands at Fiesta, an annual town festival. It’s incredibly decadent to get two date nights so close tother, but that’s just how things worked out with scheduling.
Creating a regular date night is my next goal, but for now I’m just grateful when we do manage to get out of the house and are able to line up child care!
Here is what a date night can do for your relationship, why couple friends with kids are such a commodity, and why your girlfriends have to be a priority, too.
I’ve been working all week on a different post, but the more I wrote the more I struggled to keep the point cogent. I decided that this is the post that actually needed to get written. So, before the week ends I just wanted to put something out there: it’s okay when things don’t work out. It’s okay to put a project on pause and revisit it when you have more time and energy. It’s alright if you set a goal and don’t reach it, and it’s fine if you don’t accomplish one of the many items on your to-do list.
Here are three things to remember when you don’t meet your goals:
Well, Friday came and went, and I didn’t get a chance to do my weekly write up. This week I hosted family and family friends who came for an extended visit. I have a hard time balancing writing with family commitments, but then, who doesn’t? Here it is a day late.
Some of the following include Amazon affiliate links and Birchbox referral links, which means that if you click on one of the links and make a purchase, I’ll receive a percentage of that sale at no cost to you or points for a referral. All thoughts and opinions are my own. For a full disclosure statement see my About page.
I read Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up in December, and then in early January my husband and I began to tackle our home. We fully purged our clothes, books, and papers. We got about three-quarters way through komono, a Japanese term for miscellany, the broadest category, and we have yet to complete the tidying process with her most difficult categories—sentimental items and photos.
I sometimes question myself for starting a lifestyle blog when there are so many big issues going on in the world right now. I made a career out of helping students find their path, and while I didn’t give it up lightly, being a stay at home mom makes me wonder at the end of each week if I could be doing more. I struggle to feel like I’m enough. I think we all do.
I am a feminist and I support social justice movements for gender, sexual, racial, ethnic and class equality. While I don’t write about these subjects, I have to believe that what I am writing about is worthwhile. Self-care, living well within your means, feeding and clothing yourself and your family, managing your time and your home, creating and appreciating art and culture, and dreaming big is universal. I’m going to keep working on this blog, reaching out, and connecting. Writing and sharing is what keeps us connected to the world, it’s what helps us make sense of it.
Some of the following include Amazon affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links and make a purchase, I’ll receive a percentage of that sale at no cost to you. All thoughts and opinions are my own. For a full disclosure statement see my About page.
I know I’ve talked about self-care before, but I’d just like to suggest taking yourself out to lunch with a friend and giving yourself a pedicure with a classic red nail polish (I chose Come to Bed Red by Butter London). I feel like a million bucks in comparison to how I started out this week. Read a chapter in your current book, paint your nails, take a walk alone to clear your head. Do one thing for yourself, and yourself only, as my friend Maggie says. Ignore the dishes and the laundry, chores can wait.
I am a sucker for blog posts with enticing titles offering tips and trick to keep my house clean. I recently saw a post about twenty things people do on a daily basis to keep a tidy house, and I just about went bananas. TWENTY THINGS. Without clicking, I conjured up a list in my head and stopped at ten because twenty things seem impossible for the average person.
This year I reimagined what kind of home I want to keep, and it’s inspired new routines and the way I look at my space and interact with my things. My house is a reflection of how I see life–a work in progress. I’m not done organizing or decorating, and I’m totally okay with that. My house is far from what some would consider clean, but on most days, my house is clean enough for me.
Five tips for having a cleaner and happier home:
Some of the following include Amazon affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links and make a purchase, I’ll receive a percentage of that sale at no cost to you. All thoughts and opinions are my own. For a full disclosure statement see my About page.
Your home should be a judgement free zone
Have you ever gone over to a friend’s and she profusely apologies for the state of her house? Do you insist that her house is fine, and that it’s not a mess at all. You say, “Oh please, you should see my place!” My guess is you’re very familiar with this type of exchange. If you don’t judge your friend for the state of her home, why are you judging yourself so harshly? Your home should be a judgement free zone.
Little messes exist wherever we dwell because that’s where we live. Let’s work on being proud of our homes, no matter the state they’re in at any given moment.
How you judge someone else’s home says nothing about them and everything about you
If you find yourself inwardly cringing at your friend’s house and thinking, “Ugh, get it together, sister. Your house is a dump,” I implore you to take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Judging someone else because their home is not to your standard is a reflection of your own internal struggle to feel good enough. Being critical is the result of insecurity, and while mocking and judging may create a sense of superiority, italso seriously undercuts any potential for true friendship.
It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others, but let’s minimize this kind of negative thinking and focus on positivity instead. An attitude adjustment can go a long way in making a home happier.
Figure out what works for you and don’t get fatalistic
I’m a messy person, but I’m trying to reform. I haven’t perfected a system for keeping my home truly neat, but I haven’t given up yet. One area I really struggle with is my son’s toy collection.
My house post-Christmas.
After Christmas my husband and I read the now infamous The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. Marie Kondo helped us confront our issues with purging items that had been gifted to us. We were able to effectively sort this massive toy pile into bags we dropped off for donation and organized what we kept in our underutilized storage cubes and baskets.
It takes me only minutes to put away toys now that they all have a home.
Keep going until you figure out which method of cleaning and organizing works best for you, because dear reader, I don’t want your loved ones to have you removed from your home via crane when you’re old and senile and have forgotten the way to your front door.Was it over the tupperware collection and through the plastic bags or was it under the freebie water bottles and over the Time magazines?
It’s okay to take cleaning shortcuts
I run our robot vacuum every day. You heard me, I have a Roomba, and I love it. I was not always so on board with a robot vacuum (they’re not cheap!), but I’ve become so dependent on my Roomba over the past ten years that I’ll definitely shell out more money to replace it immediately when this one dies. My Roomba vacuums my house EVERY DAY, so I’m still way ahead of the game even if the Roomba doesn’t get corners so well and occasionally eats a sock.
Swiffer mops and dusters, Clorox wipes, and other convenience cleaning items can be worth a little extra expense. I don’t have access to laundry facilities or a a utility area directly in my condo, so it’s unrealistic for me to keep a hoard of wet, dirty cleaning rags or a dirty mop hanging around. I know I can save money by cutting out these convenient indulgences, but realistically I know I won’t clean regularly if it’s more difficult.
Decide what is clean enough for you
I would love to have a spotless kitchen, but I’ll settle for doing the dishes every night. I make the bed and run the Roomba every day without fail. My husband takes out the trash, cat litter, and diaper pail every night. Anything else we accomplish on top of that is gravy.
Maybe your list of what must get done on a daily basis is very long or maybe it’s very short like mine. Whatever you decide works for you is clean enough, and you should be so proud of yourself.
Are there any cleaning tips or tricks that really work for you? Have your perspectives on housekeeping changed over time?
How many times have I read that routine is good for me? How many articles have I read and then ignored about getting up extra early for deep breath sets, calendaring and to-do lists, and unloading the dishwasher first thing in the morning so my kitchen doesn’t look like a hot mess 24/7? Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m not always so great at starting and keeping up with new routines.
Even small changes to my life seem daunting, but big ones–like leaving the stability of one job for another (or like me, to be home with a small child), moving and commuting further, expanding your family, or adopting a healthier lifestyle–can feel overwhelming. So let’s acknowledge the new routines we’ve created in the face of a challenge, and celebrate the bad habits we’ve stopped and the good ones we’ve formed.
Five favorite tools that keep me inspired and motivated to maintain healthy habits:
Some of the following include Amazon affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links and make a purchase, I’ll receive a percentage of that sale at no cost to you. All thoughts and opinions are my own. For a full disclosure statement see my About page.
This app helps me add structure to my day. I like the simplicity of my goals: make the bed, prepare lunches, walk 5k steps, log meals, take a picture. Every day that I complete my tasks feels like a pat on the back. On the days I don’t want to make lunches, I think about this little circle I won’t get to tap and the money I’m going to waste, and it’s just enough incentive to make the trek to the kitchen. It’s easily adaptable for whatever “streak” you want to keep going, whether it’s eating a healthy meal, reading a book, or getting to sleep at a decent time.
I’m not used to having my entire kitchen at my disposal all day long. By using this app I make deliberate decisions about what I eat, rather than snacking indiscriminately all day long. You can choose your level of interaction with the app and its community, and you can set up your profile for maintaining, losing, or gaining weight. It’s simply for calorie counting (in and out), and I appreciate that approach over other diets or plans. There’s a web interface, which is how I initially signed up years ago, but I find the app much easier to use on a daily basis. I use my FitBit One to track my steps in conjunction with logging my exercise on My Fitness Pal, but you can certainly use any activity tracker or an inexpensive pedometer.
The app and web interface are available for free and with premium monthly and yearly upgrades.
I like ticking the little circles when I finish a task.
This built-in iOS app syncs across devices and can be shared with other users. I only recently started meal planning, and I think my success directly relates to communicating easily with my partner about what items we need from the grocery store! We also keep track of coupons and deals on a shared list to maximize our savings. I almost always have my iPhone or iPad nearby so I can remind myself to buy a birthday card, run an errand, and update my shopping list.
There are a lot of features I have yet to explore.
I recently got Evernote with the intention of using it to keep track of weekly spending. Eating out and coffee runs add up, but sharing a note with my partner will hopefully keep us both in check so we don’t go over budget.
This app is one I see so many bloggers talking about because of its versatility. You can incorporate your Feedly with Evernote to read and save posts, organize and brainstorm ideas, and even start notes right there in the app so they’re ready for when you sit down to write.
There are three tiers of service starting from free to 50 bucks a year, and it’s available for desktop and mobile devices.
A good old fashioned journal
Good for: Self-Care, Diet & Exercise, Household & Finance, Blogging, etc.
I love writing. It’s the only thing that keeps me sane. When I can’t get something done, there’s usually a reason why, and it’s almost always mental. So I write it out. It’s also really inspiring to look back in your journal and see how far you’ve come.
I have an entire journal dedicated to KonMari. It’s kept me going on my epic purge! I have a journal where I write about finances. When I get stressed about spending, it’s not really about the money, it’s about whatever I was feeling when I was shopping. Why did I spend $17 on cookies and crackers at Trader Joe’s when I only went in for cream and eggs? Why did I buy a lipstick for $24 when I rarely wear the ones I have?
I like to refer to notes in my journal when I’m working on a blog post. It’s inevitable when you’re journaling that something will pop up that you want to share. I have the above Rifle Paper journals and these Moleskine journals. I love that they are thin so I can have multiple in use for specific projects and topics, and they’re lightweight enough that I can toss a few in my bag when I leave the house.
What inspires and motives you to start and maintain a new routine? I’d love to hear about it!
